Terrified. Excited. Terrified. Even more EXCITED! I don’t know where to begin with this post so I’m just going to start typing. Please excuse my jumbled thoughts. Today I registered for the Making Things Happen East Coast Tour. May 1st. Raleigh, North Carolina. I’m going. And I’m nervous. But I’m also overwhelmingly excited about what this is going to do for me, for my business.
I have been hibernating over the last year. I barely took on any custom design work, I set my Etsy shop to a semi-permanent vacation, I just withdrew from everything that I had previously been working for. After my 2010 wedding while working on 3 other custom wedding suites for clients, running an etsy shop and working full-time, all at the same time, I was BURNED out. Crispy. I did everything for my own wedding. Like seriously EVERYTHING besides what I absolutely couldn’t physically do. For example, I couldn’t be the minister and preform the ceremony, I couldn’t cook the food for 100 people (however I did make the cake), and I couldn’t be the photographer. You get the idea. Everything else was pretty much all me with a little help from some amazing people including my wonderful husband. Invitation suites, flowers, centerpieces, bridesmaid bouquets, my bouquet, boutineers, cake, favors, placecards rocks, jewelry, make-up, programs, rehearsal dinner, diy photobooth and props, wishing tree and diecut tags, full music list, the list goes on and on. My goal was to make my mark on our day and to give us something that reflected both of us. It was a success. Everything was wonderful and exactly what we wanted. Our guests raved about it. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Looking back on this I was absolutely insane. INSANE. You can see more of the madness here.
So now that I’ve finally started coming back to life, I am regaining my desire for everything that I used to have. I want to get my business back in full swing, I want to be producing invitation lines, I want to completely rebrand and restructure my business. I ended 2011 with this overwhelming feeling that something had to change. I had to do something with 2012. This was going to be the year where I make BIG things happen for myself. I had no idea what those big things were going to be yet, but that didn’t matter. I’ve been getting back into following my blogs and connecting with other people and businesses that I am newly discovering. I am reconnecting with everything I had lost touch with. I started looking at other people with similar passions as me to see what they are doing, how they are doing it, how they got started. One person comes to mind here for me. Emily Ley. I’ve never met her and not even spoken to her over email until recently. She is a huge inspiration to me without even knowing it and I am so unbelievably grateful to her for that. In 2010 Emily Ley attended the Making Things Happen Intensive with Lara Casey (who is also absolutely amazing, but I will get to that in a little bit). It changed her and the way she operates. She is how I know of Lara Casey. Lara is incredibly motivating, business savvy, and driven beyond belief. Lara wrote this post which started the whole thing called Get Fired Up: How to Make Things Happen Vol. 1. Read it. It’s brilliant and everything you need to hear.
Vol.1 is just a little taste of what I am going to get to experience in Raleigh. I CANNOT WAIT. Don’t get me wrong, like I said I am terrified. I’m scared of having to lay it all out on the line, I’m scared of what I am going to do, I’m scared to sit in a room with strangers and tell them what’s holding me back. With social anxiety it adds an extra layer of unflattering discomfort, but I know if I don’t do this I WILL regret it when I’m 80. Shoot, I will regret it before I’m even 29. Sitting in the same room with other like-minded people who can help me and motivate me to live the best possible life I can live in the face of fear is exactly what I need. I have HUGE, CRAZY, INSANE dreams – that scare the crap out of me. Face my fears, do them anyways. “The greatest human temptation is to settle for too little.” – Thomas Merton I refuse to settle. I don’t wan’t to look back when I’m 80 and think I wish I would have gone for my dreams, I can’t believe I was such a chicken. To me, that would be just such a wasted opportunity, a missed chance, a life I should have lived but didn’t for no good reason at all. So I’m jumping. Diving in head first.
I thought and thought about what to do and I almost didn’t register for this conference. But then I read something Emily Ley posted. She said “SAYS WHO?” And that got me thinking. Who says I shouldn’t go to this? Who says I can’t do what I love? Who says I have to stay exactly where I am and can never make an effort to live the very best life I can dream up. Says who? Well, it’s up to me. And I’m doing it. Fear and all. This mentality has lead me to take more chances lately. Chances that I normally would not have taken. I’m reaching out. I’m making contacts and networking with people I would have been too shy and scared to connect with before. I even applied to the (part-time, remote) assistant creative director position within ELC. I almost didn’t do that either, but I can’t even tell you how glad I am that I did. I would have regretted not sending that letter. Life is too short to play small.